Captain Soft Beard
Issue #002 · Now Reading

The Static Snag of The Friction Fiend!

Porcupius failed with prickles — but friction never fails. A new villain charges up Torranville with a high-voltage hair-day, and this time it takes a whole squad to restore the balance.

Pages
07
Villain
Friction Fiend
Rating
Soft · 5+
Read Time
7 min
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Writer The Captain himselfPencils Brainy, PhDColors Dr. FluffingtonLetters FWOOSH Studios
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Pg 01/07
Splash — 'The Static Snag of the Friction Fiend!' Torranville has a bad hair day.
Page 01 / 07 · SplashTorranville was having a bad hair day…
Brainy runs an electrostatic simulation at the NASA Softness Administration lab.
Yala the dog's fur frizzes out — FZZT FZZT — as Brainy looks on.
Brainy at a holo-screen: 'Cap — this is a Level 5 Frizz-tastrophe!'
High static overload alert; Captain Soft Beard flies in through the lab window.
Page 02 / 07 · 4 PanelsLevel 5 Frizz-tastrophe detected. The beard takes flight.
Rooftop showdown. Cap and Brainy confront the Friction Fiend: 'Your static ends here!'
KRAZZ-TWANG! The Friction Fiend launches a crackling arc at Cap and Brainy.
The Fiend declares: 'Your Class-S Fluff is now a Class-S Magnet.'
WHUMMMM-CRACKLE. The field amplifies around Cap and Brainy.
Page 03 / 07 · 4 PanelsYour Class-S Fluff is now a Class-S Magnet.
A new hero leaps onto the rooftop: 'Your prickly plans end here, Fiend! I'll disrupt the core — cover me!'
PHZZZ-KRRK! The R-hero pushes into the field: 'It's resisting — the field is destabilizing my phase!'
KRRAAK-CRZZZT! The Friction Fiend roars: 'No — hold steady! You obey me!'
Page 04 / 07 · 3 PanelsA new hero leaps onto the rooftop. Cover me!
KRA-KOOM! The R-hero delivers the finishing kick — pop… pop… fizz… 'System down!'
Cap beams beside Brainy: 'My beard… returns to glory.' 'We're FREE!'
Aftermath: the defeated Fiend kneels — 'No… the balance was perfect. You removed the friction.'
Page 05 / 07 · 3 PanelsKRA-KOOM! System down. My beard returns to glory.
Balance returns to Torranville — citizens greet Captain Soft Beard on the street at sunset.
Page 06 / 07 · SplashBalance returns to Torranville.
Back at the lab: Brainy pets Yala — 'Back to optimal softness.' Field: Neutral. Softness: Optimal.
Captain's Log: Cap admires his reflection — 'Magnificent.'
Closing beat: 'Intelligence and teamwork are the ultimate softeners.' — 'Stay sharp… but stay soft.'
Page 07 / 07 · 3 PanelsIntelligence and teamwork are the ultimate softeners.
Behind the Panels

Issue #002
Field Notes

The Friction Fiend's suit
Is woven from 100% ungrounded polyester. Do not attempt. Do not dry. Certainly do not pet.
Cameo watch
Brainy's lab coat has a KBI-7 badge — a canonical nod to the Kitten Belly Index Kit, $299, while supplies last.
The Rescue Squad
Debut appearance of the R-Hero. Full origin story in Issue #004. Probably. Depending on conditioner inventory.
End of Issue #002

Next:Captain Spiky Beard'sMenace!

An evil doppelgänger. Stubble that cuts. Coming Q3 pending peer review.

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